I am a bit of a control freak when it comes to some things, not so much with others. Some things I don't need to plan out to the nth degree: meal planning, cleaning schedules, and surprisingly (to me) Wes' and my schedules. On the other hand, I am obsessive about travel planning, health issues and pregnancy. I think I bought four books and subscribed to two different daily emails while I was pregnant with Wes, in addition to the movies and tv shows I watched to prepare. (Watching "A Baby Story" on TLC totally counts, right?)
One thing that I have done since high school is a 3-5 year plan. I like to somewhat prepare myself for what I expect to happen, control freak that I am. When I graduated, my short term (pretty much a 3 year plan at that time) was basically to finish college in three years with my teaching degree from SUU. I was ambitious and expected to easily graduate in three years because I had accumulated so many credits while still in high school. After my first semester I was already a sophomore and fully expected to meet that goal. What I didn't expect was to meet Casey.
I hadn't really considered meeting somebody, seriously speaking, which is dumb of me. I figured I would go to school and meet people and hang out, but didn't think I might fall in love. So of course I meet Casey and my plans change.
Casey had decided to move to Las Vegas at the beginning of my second year of college and I stayed in Cedar City with the plan to finish school and move to Vegas when I graduated to be with him. We did the long-distance thing for about two months before I decided it wasn't working for me and made the decision to quit school and move at the end of the semester. To say that my new life plan wasn't really met with a lot of enthusiasm is the understatement of the century, but my family eventually came to support my decision.
When I moved, my new plan was to go to work at the movie theatres (at that time, the only job that I knew) and move into management as soon as possible. I wanted to prove myself to everyone, to say that I hadn't made a mistake by quitting school and that I could be successful without finishing college.
I started working in December of 2001 and by June of 2002 I became and assistant manager, so I finally was on track to meet my goals. For another couple of years I worked my way up to second assistant (third in charge of the location) and was planning on making it to GM as soon as I could. There were some things that I could never have anticipated that conspired against me and my plans, namely other people.
I was naive and can fully admit that now. I trusted other people more than I should have and my trust was taken advantage of and Casey paid the price for it. Casey lost his job and we started making plans to move back to Utah. We both decided to go back to school and I would finish with my teaching degree first, since I was pretty much half done with my degree, and Casey would finish his work while I was in school since he wasn't quite sure what he wanted to do.
However, when we got back to Cedar City I got a great job as the general manager of the Motel 6 and was required to work during the day. That did not work with the classes that I would need to take to get my teaching certificate so we decided that he would go back to school first, with the idea that he would go for his PharmD, or doctorate in pharmacy.
We were really lucky that for two years my five year plan worked out perfectly. Casey had researched pharmacy schools and there was a school in Vegas that didn't require a bachelor's degree, just certain pre-rec classes. Casey set up his class schedule in those two years to allow for him to meet that school's requirements, and then we planned that he would apply to that school. If he didn't make it in on his first try, then he would take the classes necessary to get into the next school needed only pre-recs and then he would apply to those schools.
Luckily, Casey only had to apply once because he got in on his first try. Not only did he get into his first choice school on his first try but they also had just opened up a new campus of their school up in South Jordan so we wouldn't have to move back to Vegas if we didn't need to.
My new 5 year plan, starting in 2007, was to put Casey through school. I would support us while he only worked as much as he needed/was able to. I was able to get a pretty good management job with a national pharmacy chain and decided, again, that if I was going to work that I wanted to move up. I made it my goal to move up to second in charge as soon as I could.
I made my ambition known to my supervisors and pretty soon I was doing all that I could to advance including taking the Pharmacy tech class that my company taught. I transferred to four different stores so that I could move into a better position to advance. Eventually though, I got tired of the politics that come along with management jobs and decided that when Casey graduated I wanted to move into the pharmacy end and just be a tech.
At this time I was looking past the point of Casey's graduation. We had a plan that when he graduated I would try to get pregnant and when I had the baby I would stay at home with him/her. If I wanted to go back to work I would but it wasn't necessary for me to plan on it. I figured that being a Pharmacy tech would be a pretty good part time job when I went back to work, the pay is pretty good and the job itself isn't too demanding.
Casey graduated on June 6, 2010 and within two months I was pregnant. I left management in November of that year and planned on working in the pharmacy up to my due date, which was March 17. A great plan for me because I was getting scheduled three days a week but could still pick up other shifts at other stores if I wanted to work more/more money. This plan was perfect, until the first week of February when Casey had to go out of town for three weeks to complete his training for work. On the second day that he was gone I went couldn't feel Wes moving and my doctor's office wanted me to go to the hospital to get checked out just to make sure everything was OK.
I got to the hospital, got checked in and got hooked up to the fetal monitors and after a couple of hours I was told that Wesley was fine. He was moving around and his heartbeat was nice and strong, but did I know that I was having contractions? At my appointment the previous week I was dialed to a three and had been having what I thought were Braxton-Hicks the whole weekend before but wasn't feeling what I expected real labor/contractions. After being monitored all day and the contractions not slowing or stopping I had to spend the night in the hospital and then the next morning my doctor checked me and decided that with a pretty rigid medication schedule I could remain pregnant and stop my contractions, so I was released.
At this point, I needed to take it easy and decided to not go back to work. So I ended up not working for that last month that I was pregnant. Not in my plan at all, I had scheduled shifts at three different stores that I needed to call out on. My plan was to come back to work at the end of my maternity leave and was just waiting for Wes to meet us.
Wes was born on March 8 and came easily into this world. Just like his delivery, Wes was a very easy baby. I took my full twelve weeks of maternity leave and went back to work to do some training and I realized that I would rather be at home with my easy baby than at the pharmacy, dealing with grouchy old people and drug-seekers.
Has any of my 3-5 year plans worked out completely like I had planned? NOT AT ALL. Does that mean I'm not happy? NOT AT ALL. I could never have predicted where I would be at this point in my life and have to say that I am happy that I have deviated so far off of where I thought I should be versus where I am.
The things that I kept planning were not bad plans, they were just not right for me in the end. I could have easily stayed in Vegas working for the theatres if things had worked out differently but I know I wouldn't be as happy.
I am where I am meant to be right now, which is at home with Wes. I love knowing that we can do anything we want tomorrow, that I don't have to squeeze things in around work to spend time with him. If we don't get something done tomorrow guess what? We can do it the next day. Unless other people are counting on us for something, like doctor's appointments or doing stuff with family/friends, we can do whatever we want whenever we want. Go to the park? Sure, why not. Take a walk around the block and stop to look at all the construction trucks or a rock or just to stop? No problemo, we're not in a hurry. We can take our time and enjoy ourselves.
My plans for the next week are to start swim lessons and maybe to grocery shop. My plans for the next month? Make my Christmas gifts for my aunts and uncles and start shopping for my immediate family. Next year? Who knows? Maybe a trip to Disney World with Wes and Casey and my family, hopefully start potty training Wes, but other than that my plans are wide open.
Sometimes I have a hard time with not having a plan to 'follow' and I feel like I'm not being productive but I know that raising Wes is a lot of work and that I am not only being productive but making a difference. I can see my influence on Wes and am so proud of him and what I am doing with him. In the last week he has learned where his nose and ears are and we are now working on learning where his mouth is. This, in addition, to a few new signs to add to his vocabulary. He is using 'play' and 'bird' now and we think he is trying to use 'drink.'
So there it is, my new five year plan: No plans. Try to roll with the punches, control and plan for what I can when I can. That's it. My type-A will come out (I've already been researching potty training and Disney World and I can guarantee I will still buy travel guides) but I will do my best to not go overboard. Try.
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