What my emotions sound like

When I was a junior in high school I went to see "Good Will Hunting" on a date, which was pretty significant.  Not because of the date but that the movie was a vehicle for me to hear Elliott Smith for the first time. 
I felt so much hearing that music that I went to the library to rent the soundtrack (if that doesn't take you back).  I remember sitting outside on our back patio with my Discman (again, dating myself) and listening to the soundtrack over and over while I had it checked out. Elliott's music spoke to me then and still speaks to me now.  I didn't know anything about him or his struggles but he felt so much and his music touched me in a way that really, honestly changed me. 
I had mostly listened to music that was popular or exposed to at home.  Top 40, R&B, oldies, country were what was on my radio and I had not explored anything beyond that.  Elliott Smith made me think about music beyond it's catchiness or danceability.  He made me feel things  hadn't before, like melancholy and yearning.  He made me think about what was producing these feelings.
Fast forward a few years and it's 2003, I am living in Las Vegas and for whatever reason the TV is on MTV.  I am pretty sure it was Kurt Loder with breaking news, singer Elliott Smith was dead.  Hearing that news broke my heart and for the first time I mourned for someone I didn't know. I didn't know about his battles with depression and addiction but listening to him I felt like he wanted more.  More from himself, not just for his own good but for those close to him.  I could relate to that and I feel that yearning when he sings to me.
I have often laid in bed at night, listening to him sing me to sleep.  His voice is the music of my emotions.  Every couple of years I go through a period where I listen only to his music for days on end and Casey goes crazy when I do this.  But I need to hear this music, I need to hear his voice. 
Today, Casey sent me this link and I watched it and I almost cried.  I had to stop watching it, I was too emotional. 
I had never met Elliott Smith, I didn't even know his music too well before his death but he continues to make an impact on me all these years later.