Twelve weeks and counting...

 As of today I am twelve and a half weeks into my second pregnancy.  I am finally feeling much better: the fatigue, the general illness, the blah feeling I felt for almost a month is finally gone.  I finally feel like I can start enjoying this time!
 When I was pregnant with Wesley I had a completely stress-free time, up to the point that I went into early labor with him (here, here, and here.)  There was no morning sickness, no strange pains or bleeding and no abnormalities so I assumed that I would have no problems with any following pregnancies.  Oh, the best laid plans of mice and men... So far I have felt malaise, I have felt nausea and I also got to experience unexplained bleeding.  I freaked out, asked Casey to call my doctor's office (of course it was on a Saturday) and after some debate we decided not to go to the emergency room but wait to go in to get checked out at my doctor's office on Monday.
 There were no other symptoms of anything being wrong but you can't help but worry about every possible thing that could be wrong.  Is this back pain just back pain or is it something more?  After a phone call to the nurse, an appointment was made and I packed Wes into the car and headed to University Hospital to meet Casey at my doctor's office.  I was late, struggling with Wes' shoes that morning and then hitting traffic on 4th South headed up to the U campus.  I parked, grabbed Wes and hurry-walked into the hospital where I handed Wes off to Casey.  As we started walking up to our appointment, I don't know what it was that hit me but I got the rare experience of puking in the lobby of the hospital in front of Starbucks, the piano player and everyone and their dog.  Awesome time made even better when my phone starts ringing and I try to stop vomiting long enough to ask Casey to answer my phone.  Also, some really nice guy comes up to me to ask if I'm okay and instead of saying 'it's morning sickness, nothing to worry about' I just keep saying "I'm fine, my husband is around the corner, I'm fine."
 Having recovered we head up to get a sonogram and Wes is so excited to see the TVs in the room.  He keeps saying "Moo-ie, watch" and then he spins himself around in the spinny chair.  When the tech actually gets to the point where she looks at the baby we try to show Wes on the monitors but he is too interested in the spinny chair, either spinning or pushing buttons on it.  Oh well, we tried.  After the tech left to have the results checked out by the doctor Wes wanted to lay down on the 'bed' and look at the 'moo-ie'.  Wrangling a toddler while pregnant, even with Casey's help, makes me worry that when I am big and cumbersome and more easily tired that I won't be able to keep up with him.
 After everything was checked out, both the baby and I are fine.  I was very happy to see that little heartbeat and watch him/her move around.  The bleeding is left at unexplained but nothing to worry about.  While I'm glad there isn't anything wrong I wish that there was a reason that it happened.  Then I could avoid whatever it was that I did in the future and I could avoid any more stress and worrying.
 My belly is also starting to show already, which makes me glad that I went on a mini shopping spree and bought some maternity shirts last month.  I cannot button my jeans anymore and am loving my belly bands!  I think that I may have to bite the bullet this time and actually buy some maternity jeans that fit well.  My jeans from Maternity Motherhood never seemed to fit very well and they had the dreaded full belly panel that I am hoping to avoid this time around.  My fall sweater jacket is already straining at the buttons so I am already worried how my winter coat is going to fit.  I have looked at some jackets and coats online and I don't want to spend hundreds of dollars on a piece of clothing that I will wear for a six months and then never touch again; on the other hand I don't want to cheap out and freeze my ass off all winter (which is predicted to be a long one) because I don't choose a quality piece to begin with.
 I don't have any super weird cravings thus far like I did with Wes at this point.  My last pregnancy I craved sauerkraut and would come home from work and just warm some up and eat it.  Plain, with nothing else.  After my pregnancy I never touched the stuff.  This time around I crave something sour but not one thing in particular.  Pickles and hot and sour soup seem to hit the spot well enough so far that I'm doing all right.  I have had to fight the urge to drink the pickle juice after I finished a jar of pickles but rationality has won out so far.

What I've been up to...

Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

 I have the great luck of announcing at this time that I am pregnant again!  Yay for Team Eggett!  Casey and I have been hoping that this would happen for some time now and as of yesterday I am 10 weeks along. Wes really doesn't get what's going on, we keep telling him that there is a baby in my belly but he has no idea.

 This pregnancy so far is quite different than my pregnancy with Wes.  I was never sick when I was pregnant with Wes; no morning sickness, no nausea, no vomiting, no nothing.  Until I went into pre-term labor I would say that my pregnancy was awesome.  I felt great, working full time up to my hospitalization.  This time around, I have been down for a few weeks.  While I wouldn't call it morning sickness because I haven't actually been sick, I feel like I could be sick pretty much all day.  I feel the best lying down but with a toddler?  Ain't nobody got time for that!  

 I actually had some insomnia issues for about a week (the week I found out I was pregnant), leading into about a month of doing nothing, where I am now at the point where I feel fine in the morning and early afternoon but come late afternoon/evening and if I'm not constantly eating than the nausea comes on.  I feel bad because I have got into the routine of cooking dinner to be ready by about 5:30 everyday and this last month has been a month of take-out and leftovers.  I'm starting to make dinner again, at least three times this week, so I'm taking this as a positive thing. 

 Three years ago I would have thought that staying at home with a toddler while pregnant would be so much easier than working full time with no kids.  To my old self, I say HA!  So naive, so so very naive.  I used to work mostly closing shifts so I could sleep in if I felt like it.  Now, if I sleep in to eight then it's a good morning.  Sometimes I'll check the monitor and see what Wes is up to; he plays really well by himself in his room and I'll try to sneak in an extra half hour!

 We had our first appointment this week and we saw the heartbeat.  We got as good a picture as possible but right now the picture is mostly blob-like and yolk sac.  For some reason this baby hasn't seemed as real to me as Wes was at this point but when we saw the heartbeat I finally felt like it was real.  For some reason I thought, before the appointment, that maybe I wasn't really pregnant.  That maybe something not good was going on with my body (latent endometriosis fears) and I didn't want to take another pregnancy test in case my fears were true.  So I didn't and just hoped for the best and on Monday morning I saw my little blob.  

 I am at the point right now where I am happy and hoping for a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby.  I have no preferences as to gender; if it's a boy we have all the gear and the since this birth will be a month after Wes' birthday he will fit all the clothes at the right time (summer clothes in the appropriate months, warmer winter clothes at the right time, etc.) so that will work out well.  If we have a girl, then that will be fun too!  I can pull a lot of non-gender specific clothes from Wes' old clothes so we won't start from nothing but it won't be the end of the world if we do have to start over again.  We'll have to get Wes a bed and move him out of the crib so that's kind of a big deal; we are thinking of moving him to the bigger room as well so that is another change that is coming.

 I still worry about how this is going to affect Wes.  He is my baby still, at two and a half, he has had me all to himself his whole life.  I have stayed at home with him since he was born and while he has spent the night over at both grandma and grandpa's houses before (the longest for a week when Casey and I went on vacation last year) I worry that he'll have a hard time not being the center of attention.  Wes has been the only grandchild on my side and will be until this winter.  My youngest sister and her husband are having a baby boy at the end of December and my middle sister and her husband are having a baby in March.  So not only will he go from being the only child but also the only grandchild but the oldest of four grand kids in a matter of months. 

 Are my fears unfounded?  I'm going to say yes as people have had more than one child for literally thousands of years and it hasn't stopped humanity from continuing.  Do I spoil Wes?  Yes I do and I know it.  I know that I will continue to spoil him as long as I can now. From now on I'll be buying popcorn at Target for two little guys and myself  instead.

Making my house MINE

We have been in our house now for just over a year and I feel like it is actually becoming our home, not just A home, if that makes sense.  We haven't painted any rooms, done any remodeling or anything drastic yet (and we do have plans to) but we have done little things to make it ours.  

The front of the house, last year

 My planting bed now, after my efforts

I have absolutely come to love playing in the dirt!  I am so surprised at how much gardening makes me feel calm and relaxed.  I'm hoping my planting bed next spring will look like the picture above!  Where the front of the house was just covered in bushes, I trimmed up the two main shrubs and let them anchor the planting bed.  There was another bush in between the those two but I yanked it and instead I planted some gladiolas for height and color and then some hostas to hopefully grow in as cover.  I also just planted some tulips so that hopefully next year, from spring through later summer, I'll have lots of colorful flowers!  I am debating pulling the shrubs that anchor the bed and replacing them with hydrangeas; currently I want to but I don't know a thing about hydrangeas except how much I love them and don't know how well they will do in mostly shade, how to take care of them, etc.

  

My garden corner, with my crazy tomatoes! 

 Spinach, Lettuce and Cilantro from earlier this summer

(See Moco in the background, still crying over him)

This spring I planted my first in-ground garden and it is doing wonderfully!  I have container-gardened for about five or so years, starting back when we lived in our apartment in West Valley but have longed for the day when I can get in the dirt and play.  I have had very good luck with my tomatoes, squash, zucchini, cucumbers, lettuce and spinach.  My green chile plants only produced one chile so far, but I'm holding out hope that I will get more.  I thought I planted a jalapeno plant but it's some kind of small chile and that is doing well, just not what I wanted.  My strawberries have been...eh, but i didn't expect a big crop this year.  My cantaloupe have flowered like crazy but no cantaloupes on the vines yet.  The only plant that hasn't done really well have been my corn and I blame my squash and zucchini plants for blocking out water and sun; also probably the same problem for my chiles as well.  I have re-evaluated what I will buy next spring for my garden and where I will plant my plants as well.  I will probably add raspberry bushes next year and I might try my hand at some asparagus but not sure yet.

  

I have changed out my front porch planters several times this year and think I finally hit on the one I'm going to keep for a while.  I have porch rail planters and instead of trying to keep it all flowers and replacing them as they die, I planted several perrenial plants and then placed a few pansies in there for color.  The good news is that I don't have to replace a whole planter if I kill the flowers (or more correctly, when I kill the flowers).  

Are either of my gardens showcase worthy?  Not even close, but they make me happy and they give me food.  By putting the time and effort into these areas I am feeling immensely proud of my achievements and my house makes me proud!  I still want to paint the front door blue and have to work on Casey to get him to a) agree to such a bright color and b) actually paint it for me (the door is 9 feet tall and he is much closer to that height than I am, ergo, he will have an easier time painting, right?).  I want to add wall baskets under the lights on the sides of the garage next year as well.  Oh, if I paint the door, I want to paint the shutters on the house to match as well...making my house mine is a never ending list of wants but I'll take it!

Breaking my heart daily

Wes is down to one nap a day.  I need that nap time just as much as he does, if not just to shower or sit a minute and relax.  Gone are the days of his 2 two-hour naps; I am lucky now if his naps last more than hour.
Just because he needs a nap doesn't mean that he wants to nap.  He is pretty tired come two every afternoon and that is when I put him in his bed.  But he fights it, oh how he fights!
I used to lay him down with his movies and he would fall asleep watching them.  But now he forced himself to stay awake and then he is a grouchy bear until bedtime. 
Our routine stays with me asking him if he knows what time it is, which he does as he immediately asks for his moo-ie, or iPhone with his movies.  He doesn't get it anymore so I distract him while we walk to his bed.  We grab a couple of toys to take with him, I have him grab his binky (because I only fight one bake at a time) and then tuck him into bed.
This doesn't seem that bad except when he isn't ready to go take a nap (which is about 80% of the time) he flops down, screams and cries, and kicks and hits anything in his path.  Once in bed, he gator rolls out of my arms to avoid getting tucked in.  I give his tours and silkies, kiss him and tell him I love him and leave.
That's when the real show begins.  He is immediately at his door, banging and kicking at it, all the while crying and screaming “MOMMMMY!  MOMMY!" He'll drag all of his blankets out of bed and pile them in from of his door and make a nest where he will continue to freak out for the next 15-20 minutes. 
Sometimes I'll go in there and try to calm him down, by singing to him and holding him but then that leads to more problems.  I can't leave him unless he is completely out and if he feels me shift to get up our hearts the floor creak, he wakes up and it all starts again.
Instead, I sit out in the living room and eat my lunch and feel guilty for insisting on this daily trauma.  I know he needs it and after the storm he's out, but what a heartwrenching storm it is.  The cries, the pounding in the door, the “MOMMY, I'm crying!"- how does anyone with a heart not react to that? 

Moco Fred Eggett

On February 26,2005 Casey and I were married.  The next morning, as we were still sleeping a phone call woke us.  A girl was calling to let us know her dog had puppies, if we still wanted one.  The mother was a Chihuahua and was bred with a Chihuahua but she must have got out and mated with a Jack Russell down the street resulting in a mixed litter.
When the time came for us to go pick out out puppy we drove out and picked one of the mixed breed pups.  We were living in Parowan at the time and we didn't want to leave him home by himself while he was still little so I would take him to work with me in the morning and Casey would pick him up in the morning after his classes and take him home.
Moco was very smart and was very quick to pick up new tricks.  He learned to sit within 3 of the 5 chicken nuggets from Wendy's.  He stayed, laid down, rolled over, spoke, played dead, played hide and seek, jumped through arms, jumped over baby gates, fetched balls and much more.
When he was a puppy he slept in need with us, at first between our pillows.  When we got Lula he moved to sleep under the covers with me, then between Casey and I and then finally he slept with Casey only when he was cold at night. 
Moco loved the snow.  He would run around, bounding through it.  He lived to catch and chase after snowballs.  When we lived in Cedar City Casey and I would take him over to the soccer fields and run him around forever.  We would play hide and seek, tag, fetch and he loved it.  He also loved to play his and seek with dog treats; I would make him wait in one room and in another I would hide his treats and he would have to search them out.
Moco never seemed really find of Lula; when we got her she was a stray and snapped at him quite a bit and I think that he was wary around her after that.  Despite that caution, they would chase each other around and wrestle, he would bathe her and he would defend her.
Moco was a fiercely loyal dog.  If we were playing chase me with the dogs, he would protect Lula.  If Casey and I were wrestling Moco would growl and bark at Casey.  When Wes came along if we were chasing him and tickling him, Moco would growl at us as well. 
On occasion I would go to bed without Casey being at home.  Whenever it was, wherever we were living, Moco would lie down next to me/my side of the bed until Casey got home.  Only then would he go to his bed and go to sleep.
I have never wanted him to suffer or be in pain and one of my biggest regrets in life thus far is knowing that he was alone and lost when he was hit by a car and that he suffered until we were able to see him.  He didn't recognize us when we were in the room with him and I hate that we haf to put him down under those circumstances.
I know that we did the best we could for him that night and I know he's not suffering.  But I miss my baby.  Wes still asks for 'Coco' and I think Lula is starting to not look for him. 

A hell of a month...

 So it has been over a month since I last posted on here.  I feel like it has been a whirlwind month and I haven't really caught up yet.  My last post was written about the Mother's Day gifts I was making.  I have photos that I wanted to post, but they are on my phone and I haven't transferred them to my laptop yet.  So, no post on how that went but the gifts were received well (or at least I hope, we weren't there.)
 We weren't at my families Mother's Day parties because we went down to Las Vegas to watch Casey's sister get pinned.  Casey's sister had been studying for her RN at the College of Southern Nevada and was graduating and getting pinned in early May.

 Here she is after her children 'pinned' her.  Unfortunately I missed this part of the ceremony because Wes was having a difficult time sitting still and being quiet so we went out into the lobby of the Cashman Center and I tried to keep him occupied.  This didn't work so well so after this, Casey came and relieved me and he let Wes run around.  It was great to see all of Casey's sister's hard work come to fruition.  I am happy that she has found a career path that she is excited to follow.  I know that it's hard to find where you want to be and I am so excited to see where her hard work takes her.

 While down that weekend, we also went out to lunch with some of our friends who live in Vegas.  It was great to get a chance to catch up with people who were such big parts of our lives while we lived down there.  It's so funny to see where everyone has ended up, career-wise, when we met because we all worked together for the movie theatres down in Las Vegas.  I'm so glad to see that everyone is happy and healthy and doing well.

 On our way home from Vegas we stopped in to visit Casey's grandparents.  His grandmother had taken a fall a couple days before and his grandpa had tried to help her up but hurt his back.  When we got to the house Casey's mother was taking his grandpa to the doctor as his back wasn't getting any better; we said a quick hello as they headed out and went inside to visit with his grandmother.  Considering her fall a couple of days before, I thought she was doing pretty good for 91 years old.  I know that old age comes with many ailments, having seen my great-grandma get progressively frailer as she reached her 90's, but Casey's grandmother was so sharp that I was surprised.  She talked to us about how she was doing (physically) and about the party that was held for them the previous fall for her and grandpa's combined 90th birthdays and 70th anniversary.  Casey was on call and we were unable to attend but she had photos to show us and pointed out people who we didn't know.  She knew all the names and had some information to share about everyone there.  We said our good-byes with the promise that next time we were down we come by to visit longer and headed home.

 Just a few days after we got home from Vegas and Cedar City my mom had her birthday.  We drove up to Ogden on her actual birthday to have dinner with both of my parents and one of my sisters.  Tony's Pizza in Ogden has the best dressing for their salads and awesome pizza and being about a half hour away I don't get as many chances to eat there as I would like.  When we finished our meal we walked around the corner and got ice cream at Farr's Ice Cream, another Ogden institution.  It was a nice evening to spend with family and then a few nights later was her birthday party where we got to see a lot more extended family.  It was a great weekend.

 The following weekend was Memorial Weekend which came with beautiful weather this year.  While we stayed home because Casey was on call for the weekend we did have some pretty significant events to attend.  My cousin's daughter had just graduated from high school (Go Royals!) and had a graduation barbecue to celebrate on Saturday.

  At the same party my youngest sister also publicly announced that she was pregnant!  This is great news as this pregnancy did not come easily to her so we are very excited for another baby.  She is due in the beginning of January and we cannot wait to see this next little guy/first little girl!

 The next day Casey's nephew had e his church blessing.  While we didn't make it to the actual blessing (Wes still isn't good at quietly sitting) we made it to the party that Casey's brother and his wife held after and we had a great time there.  My sister-in-law's family has always been so nice and welcoming to us that it was good to see them after a few years.  My in-laws drove up from Southern Utah and Casey's brother that also lives up here also came (along with his family) so it was great to be together and catch up.  It was kind of a hard time for us Eggett's because Casey's parent's dog, Pudge, had just died a few days before.  Pudge had been a loved member of the family for eleven, twelve years.  It is very different not having him greet you when you get to the house or follow all the kids around.

 The following Tuesday morning about 7:30 Casey called me.  I am a firm believer in the 8 to 10 rule, in that no phone calls are made before eight in the morning and ten in the evening out of  respect for whoever it is you are calling.  To me, any phone calls outside of that period are emergency phone calls.  So when Casey called me I answered ASAP even though I was still sleeping.  He told me that it was a good thing that we stopped to see his grandmother when we did, as she had died the previous night.

 As the week progressed, we made plans to head down to Cedar City for the funeral services on Saturday and then the burial services would be held in Bountiful the following Monday.  Unfortunately my cousin's wedding on Saturday would have to be missed and I offered to help out the day before, doing whatever it is that they needed me to do, so I called my aunt and let her know what was going on and why we wouldn't be there.  I also asked my sister to watch my dogs so that an already full house wouldn't be even more chaotic with Moco and Lula underfoot.  

 

 I met Grandma Dunford for the first time at a combined 80th Birthday celebration for both of Casey's maternal grandparents.  It was about seven or eight months after we had started dating and it was being held up in Bountiful at his grandparent's church hall.  When we first arrived in Bountiful we went to the Dunford house to meet up with his family before heading over to the church.  I was introduced to Grandma Dunford and she took me by the hand and began to inquire about me.  She then asked if I could help her with her hair and took me into her bedroom to 'brush' her hair.  Grandma Dunford had always been so kind and interested in what was going on with us.  I know that her frank matter of speaking could (and did) turn some people off but she was never outright callous with her words.  She had plenty of advice for us, especially when Casey began pharmacy school.  Grandma followed Grandpa Dunford all around the country while he got his medical school education, residency and specialties completed so she new what it was like to support someone in a similar situation.  

 At the funeral, we dosed Wes with some Benadryl hoping it would calm him down so that he could sit through the services without wanting to run around, make noises or play.  He had other ideas and to make sure that we weren't a disruption, Wes and I sat in the church lobby.  There was a speaker out there so while I held Wes and made him watch a movie I listened to what everyone had to say.  If there was one thing that was evident to all who were there that day it was that Grandma and Grandpa Dunford had a rare love story that has been hard to emulate.  Seventy years was how long there marriage lasted and it was a true partnership in every way.  It was then, and now, very difficult to see Grandpa suffering for Grandma and I can't imagine the loss that he is feeling right now.  Seventy years with the love of your life, your best friend and companion, a fellow adventurer and to have them gone?  I don't know if I can imagine that.

  Here is hoping that I can catch my breath and relax a bit.  I feel like I have been running from one thing to the next and haven't had a chance to just be.  I know things will come up and I can usually get a handle pretty quickly but I just need a moment.

Mother's Day Gifts

 I had been so caught up in Wes' birthday party then went straight into planning and packing for our family vacation to Florida that I forgot that Mother's Day was coming up soon.  I had several ideas as to what I want to do, but finally narrowed it down when I saw that Walgreens is having an awesome sale on reusable grocery bags, like the one pictured below.

 So my plan is to make the bags and fill them with goodies for all of my aunts, my mother-in-law, and Mom.  Special, personalized gifts will go in my mother-in-law and Mom's gifts beyond just the goodies, but I don't want to elaborate just yet.  But some random kid and dog just won't cut it for my bags, so here are the designs that I am putting on the fronts of the bags:

 Now, my question is:  are these designs too plain, too much, or ok?  My eye is a little rusty on this one for some reason, not too sure if I need to add more or just stick with what I've got.

 For my cousins, I am going to make little gifts, not going to give those away yet either, but put them in super cute packages similar to this:

from this website

 I will add photos of the completed gifts, after Mother's Day, so as to to not completely ruin the surprise. What do you think?  Are these items that you would like to receive?  Or are the lame-o?